Sternberg: Triangular Theory of Love sample essay

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In his article he states, “According to the theory, love has three components: (a) intimacy, which encompasses the feelings of closeness, connectedness, and bondedness one experiences in loving relationships; (b) passion, which encompasses the drives that lead to romance, physical attraction, and sexual consummation; and (c) decision/commitment, which encompasses, in the short term, the decision that one loves another, and in the long term, the commitment to maintain that love. The amount of love one experiences depends on the absolute strength of these three components, and the kind of love one experiences depends on their strengths relative to each other. The three components interact with each other and with the actions that they produce and that produce them so as to form a number of different kinds of loving experiences.”

I’ve learned about the triangular theory of love in my previous classes, and I have alwahys loved learned more about it. The differences that helps shape a relationship has helped me in my most intimate relationships. I’ve come to find out that without the different components it is hard to distinguish what kind of relationship you have. The feeling of intimacy should always be felt with whoever you’re with. Intimacy isn’t all about getting physical close to the person, but getting emotional close to them which makes the bond you share so special. Passion should be felt in relationships with a significant other. The passion is contributed to how romance plays out, and how much sexual activities will be had between the two people. The decision/commitment component is used in order to tell how long a person is going to be commited to the other person, which shows how the relationship will benefit in the long run.

In my relationship with my boyfriend, we have the intimacy, passion, and decision/commitment. Although, none of this was easy to accomplish we went through hell and back in order to form a bond, passion, and eventually stick with each other through the long term. We’re close both emotionally and physically. He knows I won’t go anywhere and this theory really does work.

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